Let’s keep it real folks. After talking with other close friends who are raising young kids it appears as if many times we are in the same boat, the same sinking boat if you will. We are drowning in laundry (shit tons actually), a dishwasher that needs constant loading and unloading, cooking dinner, dirty floors, irrational toddlers, broken stuff, screaming babies, appointments, meetings, play dates, constant trips to the grocery store, skipped nap times, snack time (which is somehow every 5 mins of the day ), bath time , story time, bedtime routines and the list goes on and on, as you know.
Ok, so with all of the above, and then some, comes the ever so challenging tasks in a marriage to a) have time and freedom for yourself and b) have time with each other.
I think when it comes to having time and freedom for yourself this can be a slippery slope. It's almost as if you start to work in shifts. Like okay I have been with them for the past 13 hours, Daddy comes home. I am SOOOOO outta here, BUT not really, the duties just become divided out man to man defense style instead of me playing zone all day. It’s exhausting HA. We’ve all been there.
When it comes to the marriage when we feel like we aren't getting enough time to ourselves we tend to get resentful of the other person. There are many times I am jealous that my husband is at work. In the big picture I have made the choice to stay home for the time being and I don't regret nor do I want to change it but having some time away to give your mind a break is important!
Okay, so that sums up marriage issue number one, resenting one another based on who gets more "personal free time". My husband and I love to argue about that one 🤭 LOL
Issue number two is when you don't get enough time together as a couple. My husband and I are both very social and like having people over and socializing with friends. This is all fine and dandy, but sometimes we use up all of our social time, socializing with others and not spending enough time just the two of us.
So what the heck do we do to fix this?
Well, like any psychologist will tell you "first step is recognizing the problem". Yup, got that one down. So we talked about it and decided we needed to make a schedule and work on better communication. Isn't the damn communication always the answer??!!
The reality is we're just trying to keep our love boat afloat ya know, and occasionally make it rock because I hear that helps too. Weekly date nights are an absolute must if you can swing it with a sitter, AND most definitely getting your toddler out of your bed at night would be another great start for some sexy time.
Making a long story short I have come to the realization though that with all the crazy that everyday brings, we will absolutely miss this someday when it’s gone.